Let’s Grow Differently
There can be so much that goes into a beginning. From a thought or experience to an idea, inspiration, work, work, work, boosts, and setbacks. Somehow, beginnings are still just a running leap into the unknown.
This blog is meant to go alongside my coaching practice, which I started informally almost two years ago in response to a question that was showing up in my life: at work as a teacher, guidance counselor, and colleague; in my personal relationships and parenting; and as a curious and creative person:
Why are we only told to grow ‘up’ when we could be growing deeper, closer, clearer, wiser, freer?
This question invites and encourages a more holistic way of approaching growth. It acknowledges that growing efficiently doesn’t necessarily mean growing quickly or in ways that can be measured by achievement. When we expand into this idea, we open ourselves to a fuller more personally meaningful way of moving through life.
Consider this, from the moment we are born, we live in streamlined systems that are designed for linear, upward trajectories towards ‘grown-up’ status. Modern global culture measures this by the speed at which we acquire achievements. Naturally, we put our blinders on and commit ourselves to the fast-track pathways to check the boxes.
When the world suddenly had to shut down we were completely disoriented by the loss of momentum. We fixated on finding out how soon we’d return to our ‘normal’ fast and linear paths to success.
What caught my interest during this time was that somewhere in between all of the unknowns, there were moments of grace in the form of slowness. In my own home, in my (virtual) classrooms, in conversations with others, and in my own body, the change in pace had a strange calmness and spaciousness.
Nothing about it was entirely relaxing but there was a sense that EVERYONE was going slower so this urgency to ‘keep pace’ was temporarily irrelevant. Our collective culture of speed and achievement was being disrupted and something about it felt necessary. I started noticing less talk about ‘returning to normal’ and more wondering about what we consider to be normal.
To further amplify this questioning, our stillness also made it impossible to speed past the reality of the social injustices and systemic failures that were being brought to light. Finally, there was time and space to really feel it.
The ‘normal’ pace we are conditioned to function at is too fast to feel.
For many of us, myself included, it got heavy and it got hard. Personally and professionally, there were countless starts and stops. Multiple detours and reroutes. It was impossible to forge ahead in a straight line. The only way forward was a broader pathway.
Enter Mindfulness: I’ve been exploring and practicing mindfulness for over fifteen years and have been integrating it into my classroom and workshops for nearly a decade. Durning Covid lockdowns, reopenings… and re-closings, it became the primary, most practical tool for grounding myself and the people around me.
We all needed room to grow differently.
Growing differently is the art and science of:
Deepening your understanding before stepping forward
Taking a closer look at your own thoughts and beliefs
Opening to different perspectives so we can locate ourselves in relation to others
Experiencing how things feel in our body with presence and awareness
Looking for the choices in any given scenario so we can feel more empowered in making decisions
Accountability without shame
Learning to really breathe
An ongoing cycle of curiosity, action, reflection, repeat.
When we focus and prioritize our growth on speed and achievement, we sacrifice the opportunity to include ourselves in making decisions and the freedom to change our minds. So many interesting and important moments zip past us and we are urged to ‘keep moving’ so as to not fall behind or make things complicated.
To me, growing differently redefines efficiency. It’s a skill that is under-encouraged and underdeveloped in most of us because of the fast pace and linear models we’ve been operating on. Most interestingly, we see this in so-called underachievers and overachievers, alike. As an educator and an optimist, I know that we can encourage and develop these skills in ourselves and in each other. I firmly believe that our education must work for us and not the other way around.
So with that, I welcome you to this beginning and invite you to explore, nurture, and indulge yourself in growing differently.